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- 19 Years Old, Single and Curious: What is a Good Age to Get Married?Dear Dr. Buckingham, I’m 19 years old (not dating), and would like to be married one day. Just out of curiosity, what do you think is a good age for one to get married, and how old do you think is too young? Thank you 🙂 Young and Curious Dear Young and Curious, Thanks for asking such […]
- Is Your Marriage Worth the Fight? 6 Things to Consider Before You Call It QuitsWhen you commit your life to someone you don’t just commit to the good times, because the bad times are inevitable. There will be rough seasons and challenges that every relationship will face. Some of those challenges will push you to your limits and test your love. Some will have you thinking that you are […]
- 3 Marriage Hacks That Will Instantly Improve Your RelationshipI’ve been married for almost 9 years to a man I’ve been friends with for over 20 years. What we have isn’t perfect but it works. It’s perfect for us. We’ve faced ups and downs, but we have always done our best to maintain a healthy, happy marriage. We figure if we consistently take small […]
- 3 Warning Signs Someone Is Bread-crumbing You and Isn’t Worth Your TimeHas this ever happened to you? You meet a man (maybe using a dating app) and you have great conversation. He sends you text messages every day and he calls you every night for a week. He then says, “We should get together on Saturday,” and he tells you about one of his favorite restaurants […]
- How to Be a Mom and an Entrepreneur without Failing at BothWhen I began this entrepreneurship journey several years ago, I knew one thing and one thing only: I did not want to work for anyone ever again in my life. I had been fired twice from jobs because I put my kids’ health first. The last full-time job I had was with the federal government. […]
- 5 of the Greatest Life Lessons I’ve Learned Since I’ve Been MarriedDuring my commute last week, I heard a song by Fantasia for the first time called When I Met You. One of the lines in the song really caused me to reflect on my marriage and who I’ve become since I got married almost 20 years ago. The line was “When I met you, I […]
- Chuck E. Cheese’s is Turning 40 and They Are Trying to Set a World RecordYou may not be aware of this, but over the last year I have been participating as a social media ambassador for Chuck E. Cheese’s. I’ve joined a group of social media influencers (named Chuck E. Champions) and we have been tasked with spreading the word about all of the exciting changes and activities that Chuck […]
- #StayWoke: How to Keep Money Problems From Keeping You Awake at NightAre you tossing and turning thinking about your bills? Losing sleep over mounting student loan or credit card debt? If so, you’re not alone. According to a CreditCards.com national survey, sixty-five percent of respondents admitted to losing sleep over money problems, a level of financial insomnia not seen since the Great Recession. At the the […]
- 8 Old School Ways to Meet PeopleMost singles have a sincere desire to be in a committed monogamous relationship. However connecting with the right person in 2017 can be challenging, especially in the real world. With the number of dating apps available, having someone spend their evenings swiping right to left, and constantly viewing profiles on dating websites can cause Online […]
- How I Went from Feeling Lonely to Being Loved on Mother’s DayI never thought I would be a person that made a big deal out of Mother’s Day. You see, those types of holidays didn’t really excite me. Don’t get me wrong, I always took time to honor my mom on Mother’s Day. But I did not know the day was going to mean so much […]
- 19 Years Old, Single and Curious: What is a Good Age to Get Married?
Upcoming iLL Shows
Category Archives: Social Justice
Do I bottle it up & try to turn the page?
Do I write a rap & burn the stage?
How much does it cost to earn my cage?
They call me beast, cause they can’t discern my rage! Continue reading →
I am not suggesting that there will be an African exodus in my lifetime (though I would wholeheartedly support one). However, I am implying that each of us has a duty to understand the real trauma that our people are facing because of the tremendous brain drain that our continent is facing. Continue reading →
I remember being poor… Continue reading →
“Americans are very condescending when speaking to Africans…” Continue reading →
Is race something that only lives on in the minds of African-Americans? Continue reading →
Art is politics; and, it’s the weapon Kuweni Serious uses to, as they say, “fight the evil forces of apathy,” they saw plaguing Kenyan youth in the aftermath of the country’s 2007 elections. Continue reading →
I knew what a job looked like. I knew what making stuff happen looked like. I didn’t know what an educated black man in a meaningful career looked like. Continue reading →
If you haven’t heard of Nneka by now, maybe you are being intentional in making sure you don’t know what’s hot! She has traveled the globe pushing a message that cry’s for transparency, humility, and love. Check out her newest video, Stay.
In “My Soul is Heavy” Nekka takes us on a journey into the despair that her heart feels for her Nigerian people caught in the middle of the Niger Delta oil crisis.
With an entire continent’s concerns on her back, Nneka delves into the depths of Africa’s darkest realities to arise with faith, love, and hope on each of her 3 studio releases. The video “My Home” explores how her faith in God is the sustaining force that allows both her as well as millions of Africans to face the harsh circumstances the they face together.
Just in case you’ve have been sleeping under a rock; check out this link: http://illholiday.com/2010/12/15/337/.
Pray for a miracle! Avert a disaster…Save Troy Davis! Continue reading →
Here is a throwback from Mr. 3 Stax…
Being a parent isn’t easy. Its not easy when you are in a loving relationship with a soul-mate who has your back. It is especially difficult for those who are doing it by themselves. This song is dedicated to all those who give their family all that they have. I see you! We see you!
If you dig this song, click “LIKE” to let your friends know you support Single Mamma’s and Daddies too!
Janette…ikz is back with a truth that needs to be told.
When I married my wife, I had to talk to her about a deep concern I had about the whole wedding process. This concern was something that I felt we had to settle before moving forward. It wasn’t concerning the ceremony or the planning process. It wasn’t even about the guestlist or participants of the wedding. No, I wasn’t concerned about the venue or even budget (errr. I mean, what working black man aint concerned about the budget?)
Well, more than budget concerns- I needed to talk about something that was a life or death issue.
I gave this term a line of it’s own because it deserves alot of consideration when expressing what kind of LIFE I’d like to live with the love of my LIFE. This decision weighed so heavy on my heart that I needed it settled before even planning the 1st detail of the wedding. We had to be on one accord and in total agreement about this one.
Much to my surprise, my lady was right with me. She understood that our symbol of marriage could be marred by the realization that a kid was walking around in a foreign country with no arms or no LIFE.
We decided to bypass the whole Kimberly process and purchase diamond free wedding bands. Even though this didn’t sit well with friends or family who were looking for that fat rock to adorn her hand, we knew we wanted to embark on a marriage built on mutual consideration for the impact of our covenant.
5 years later, I have never regretted skipping the possibility of buying my wife a Conflict (BLOOD) Diamond.
Check out what the Nigerian Soul Superstar “Asa” had to say in verse 2 of her hit song “Fire On The Mountain”
05 Fire On The Mountain by mooney
Will we kneel forever? Nationally known poet, Allyson Horton asks that question in response to an art installation that is scheduled in her hometown. Feel her passion in this piece titled invisible or nameless in naptown…
The artist who is developing the piece for public viewing is the internationally recognized artist named Fred Wilson. Mr. Wilson is known for making art that leaves entire communities talking. He has been the very opposite of fearful in tackling race in his pieces.
So why would Allyson say, “Will we kneel forever?” Does Allyson hate art? Does she think that all art should be Afro-Centric? Does she have beef with Fred Wilson?No. No. and No!
Allyson is one of many community members who have strong concerns with placing a replica of a freed slave monument in front of the Indianapolis City County Building. One of the major concerns is that the fact that the piece will be directly visible by prisoners who are currently jailed at the City County Building, of whom a large percentage are African American Males. Other community members are angry with how the exhibit has been marketed by the Cultural Trails Commission of a depiction of an African American slave being empowered. Still, many others are upset that the piece will be shown at all on a cultural trail instead of in a gallery. Tuesday October 19th, 6pm will be an opportunity for the entire community to speak to the man behind the slave. Fred Wilson will speak at the Historical Madame Walker Theatre 617 Indiana Ave. Indianapolis, Indiana 46202. He will address concerns about his piece titled E Pluribus Unum.
The entire community is encouraged to voice their viewpoint at this meeting. This is sure to not only be a meeting of the minds, but also an engaging dialogue on the history and current status of race in America.
Many people are waiting on a ‘real’ leader to step up and solve the problems we are facing. They would argue that our country is standing still, and in some cases sliding backwards because, politicians just don’t get it. Some would say that it is because most of our religious leaders are either corrupt or worse-cowards. Even other people would say that greedy businessmen are the problem.
What I believe is that the problem is me. I am the problem. Everyone like me who has passed up on an opportunity to help themselves is the problem. Anyone like me who has overlooked the opportunity to share their extra(knowledge, time, money, strength) is the problem.
The buck doesn’t stop with the politician-it stops with me. It stops with normal people. We are the answer we have been waiting for. Everyone of us who is the problem…is also THE Solution.
For the past 14 months I have been working with a community organization called Public Allies that operates with the mindset that Everybody Leads. This simply means that everyone brings something to the table. There is no such thing as an extra person. Each person has something to contribute. Most people will contribute their time, talents, and passion, if given the right opportunity and support.
Public Allies gives that support to young adults who have made up their mind that they don’t look like a leader, leadership looks like them.
Without programs like Public Allies, people keep addressing problems the same way. We look for the expert to tell us what our problem is and how they are the only one who is able to fix it for us. Its this kind of thinking that has us stuck on an escalator with no good sense to walk the rest of the way. We are so used to depending on others, that we miss the opportunity to solve our own problems.
So when you wake up and look yourself in the mirror, remember you are looking at The New Face of Leadership!