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- Healthy Black Marriages Do ExistI stumbled across a Facebook post a couple of weeks ago and found the topic so interesting I had to write about it. The post was in response to all the praise pouring in for rap’s new super couple, Remy Ma and Papoose. It questioned why black folks were acting like we had never seen […]
- Here’s What Would Happen If Couples Just Learned to CompromiseI recently had a client, who was afraid to get into a relationship, say, “I just don’t want to lose myself in a relationship.” Well of course I peeled that onion back and discovered that the core of the issue was that my client didn’t realize that compromising isn’t the same thing as settling. Why […]
- What Ingredients Are Needed to Create a Thriving and Fruitful Marriage?Dear Dr. Buckingham, I am a 28-year-old single male, but I recently proposed to my girl. I want to get married fairly soon. I have been following you and you often talk about unconditional love in your articles. I know that love is needed to develop and sustain a marriage, but I am pretty sure […]
- Stop Losing Money: Here’s Why You Should Get Help With Your TaxesAccording to Benjamin Franklin, there are only two things certain in life: death and taxes. Unfortunately, this year’s April 18th tax deadline is fast approaching. With a tax code that is 74,608 pages long and changes being made yearly, it’s almost impossible for an individual to be aware of all the tax credits or deductions […]
- 5 Important Things Women Often Overlook Because They’re in LOVEI love my husband. I’ve known him for 20 years and we’ve been married for over 8 years. We have two kids together and a third on the way. Our lives aren’t perfect, but we certainly love what we have built. We’ve been blessed. But can I tell you a secret? My love for him […]
- 3 Things Women Hear When He Says, “We’re Just Friends” that Lead to HeartbreakYou are seriously dating a man (at least you think it’s serious because you are giving him all of your time), but he tells you that you are just friends. What does this mean? Most importantly, what do you hear when he says this? (READ: What a Man Really Means When He Says He Just Wants […]
- The Very First Thing You Should Do When You Want to Improve Communication with Your SpouseThe one thing that people often overlook, when they are trying to improve communication with their spouse, is some critical but necessary self-reflection. You see, when you are lacking in communication skills with your spouse, often times, its because the communication patterns, that were useful at one point in your life, are now outdated and just […]
- Step Family Life: 5 Very Real Concerns of a Biological MotherWhen my husband proposed to me, I was elated. He was finally going to put a ring on it after six months of dating. This was in 1999, so I realize this may seem odd. However, I knew in my heart that he was my husband and I told him this. I knew in my […]
- 5 Signs Your Marriage is Going to Be OKHave you ever gotten to a point in your marriage where you thought you and your spouse would never overcome a certain situation? So many marriages reach a period of time where the couple may question everything about their union. Stress, disagreements and just life can easily take us to a negative space where we […]
- 4 Ways to Prevent Emotional Baggage From Ruining Your New RelationshipsInitially when we meet people we meet their representative- the perfect, good behavior version of themselves. But, at what point do you meet the real person? As the relationship is growing towards monogamy and possibly marriage, when are the masks removed, allowing full disclosure to come into play? When do you meet, see and/or discuss […]
- Healthy Black Marriages Do Exist
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Tag Archives: america
Back from the MothaLand: The play by play of my journey to seek acceptance on the African Continent///Day 1:The Airport
Many Americans go to 3rd world countries with a singular mission, service. For many, this includes building schools, providing drinking water, medical support or even spreading the gospel… While service is always in season, I was not one of those with that mindset. My mission was very specific and I wouldn’t even need my cape for it. Two weeks ago, I was headed to Africa to meet my family.
With financial backing of donors from around the globe, I embarked on a trip that would be full of triumphant success and tragic heartbreak. 10 days in Africa’s most populous city was an unbelievable experience for a person who wondered if he would ever experience life outside of public housing.
I stepped off the plane into a hectic airport that was crawling with what America would call “minorities”. Almost everyone in the whole place was black. The flight attendants rushing to catch outbound flights were black. The concession stands were black-owned and operated. Black pilots strolled past pulling small small black bags. I was anticipating seeing alot of black, and that’s what I got…all except the line I was in- passing through customs. This line was filled with all the world’s nationalities that weren’t black. If there were “US” and “Them” surveys to complete, I would have clearly had to complete the “Them” survey. to I seemed to to be part of the small group of people entering Nigeria that day that was black, but wasn’t African.
While trying to make this a Kodak moment, I quickly learned a lesson. Taking pictures at the wrong time could get me into some big trouble. Immediately after snapping a shot of my first sight in Nigeria, I was approached by two angry guards that wore a look that spoke very clearly. Their facial expression said, “Don’t you know we have back rooms we can take you to and practice interrogation techniques! Keep taking pictures if you want to disappear!” I don’t really know what was coming out of their mouth; but angry is universal, and they were angry!
I began to wonder what lied beyond the airport doors. What would happen once I officially set foot on African dirt? Would I stand out? Would I blend in? Could I shed the “minority” title that strangled my psyche for 30 years? Or, would everyone just snicker and make jokes about the American who was wearing three hats? I pretty much made sure that the depth of Africa’s first impression of me would be “Is wearing three hats a style that is celebrated in America?” Seeing that I am a hat man, I had to give Africa the same first impression that people in cities across the US have of me… I have no problem looking silly to keep my hats from getting smashed.
Once in the car, I began snapping photos again. The only problem, I forgot to ask if it was a good time to resume. One could begin to think that I was intent on ‘not’ being welcomed into Africa. In just a half an hour I had managed to piss off airport security, stick out like a sore thumb wearing several ‘funny looking’ hats at once, and now…Now, I clearly offended a gentleman who was minding his own business until… I began shooting pictures of his airport business.
After this picture, he came and tapped on the car window demanding to be paid for the pictures I took. That’s when I began to wonder if it was safer to take photos of the scenery instead of the people. I’m glad I had a good driver, and he got us out of there with the quickness. That was my first episode of “when being a dumb tourist gets real.”
As we made our way from the airport to where I would be staying, I began to think, “I hope it doesn’t get any worse than this”. Would it get worse? Would I make a better impression on the people related to me? And most importantly, where will I be staying for the next week and a half?
The GOP caused a big fit a few weeks back about Hip Hop Artist, Common. They were upset that he was booked by the White House for a performance.
I just had the opportunity to catch a clip of his performance.
Listen to the words. Common offers a classy performance of spoken word for the White House.
What are your thoughts about this piece?